Peanut’s diary : things my mother taught me

I was browsing through ivillage and burst out laughing when I stumbled on this piece titled ‘things my mother taught me‘. There are many similar moments between Peanut and her absentminded mom that I am sure she would amusingly pen down some day.

Things my mother taught me

~by Peanut

My mother taught me SHARING: If you give me half of it, you can have M n Ms now.

My mother taught me BIRTH CONTROL: If we have a baby sister or brother then she/he will take all your toys, books and bed.

My mother taught me PATIENCE: Play with your bath toys some more. Let Mamma finish this blog post.

My mother taught me SELF-RELIANCE: If that German Shepherd Dog comes closer, I will run away.

My mother taught me IRONY: If you don’t stop crying, I will make you cry.

My mother taught me OPTIMISM: Hang by that monkey bar some more time and you will grow really tall.

My mother taught me PRIDE: You are lucky to have your Dad and me in your life. We are the best parents.

My mother taught me MIRACLE: Don’t climb on that table. If you fall from that and break your legs, don’t come running to me.

My mother taught me CLEANLINESS: If I see cookie crumbs on the bed, I will make you eat it.

My mother taught me CHEMISTRY and BIOLOGY: If you bite nails, it will react in your tummy to produce a huge nail that will grow out of your tummy.

My mother taught me FASHION: It’s okay if this pants is shorter, you can call it capris now.

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Some more fall colors…