Good day..

Destination Infinity

Actually I just focused on a small aspect of it. This discussion is never ending. You should make up a post on it too. A different aspect of the same issue.

On a smiliar comment from me in IHM’s blog,she had written a post..I wasn’t able to comment as i was out of station and by the time i retuned to blogosphere,i was all a cold and old topic So will give my take on this here…

I was/is/will be a woman who is interested in having a career,outside home and have some solid cash,just talking plain,with me ..money i can use the way i want it,whenever and whereever i wish..I had always dreamt of going to office wearing nice coft coloured cotton sarees,well put and i had always thoguht of meerging out to be a woman who is loved and respected BOTH at home and at office..

That said,i am a STHM now..My husband,a lovable nice guy who takes atmost care of me,don’t like me working outside..Now what?What about all those bloody dreams of mine..I don’t think taht working outside is cool or easy or whatever..But i wanted it but i couldn’t make it.I am a software enggr and was doing MBA ,not a self-praising session,but a note that i ahd 16th rank in all india management entrance test..but I had to skip my course during 2nd semester..now i am sitting here in front of my pc and rantig about biriyani and soup..I don’t mean that being a hosuewife is a mean job..But hell,the thought that all my friends are working makes me feel frustrated..MAybe i would not ahve felt so if i ahd worked for a little period,that i would ahve said NO to job all by myself..But the thought of having left behind th wish i nurtured for years and years and years..ah,that makes me feel that i am waste now..I don’t feel any of thsoe martyer or bla bla bla..But i am frustrated,but not much any more ever since i staretd blogging..Now i feel more worthy than during the trnasition period from a running student to mom..I am happy being a wife,being a mom..but still,i wish to work and i have no choice but to happily agree with my husband..He is not any dictator or as people may name husband’s like him..lol..It is just that he is not comfortable with me working ..I may fight or rebel or whatever,but thatz not ym intention-just to earn money..If ever i work,it should be with the support of whole family..

I know of my aunt who didn’t want to work and was crying when she passed a public service interview..lol..Life is weird..

So,to conclude my rant,NOT MANY WOMEN HAVE AN OPTION TO AMKE A CHOICE,BUT TO JUST MOVE ALONG WITH THE RHYMES OF WAVES ..

Smitha: Ha..ha I was going to comment there further but then I knew if I started it would be long so I made a post out of it.

1conoclast: Thanks and welcome.

Allytude: Exactly. Hypocrisy irks me.

As I said before, we are both speaking about freedom of choice, and not being censured for it.
Nice post btw!!

Ritu: Yes! And I have written in affirmative about the same. I think several men don’t have choices else they would have preferred to stay at home too. They wouldn’t have missed milestones of their child. As for second part of your comment, I think that is another major issue.

Goofy Mumma: No dear. I am not contradicting you. My post is about choices us women gets to make on whether to stay at home or to work outside whereas most men don’t have that kind of option. My problem is when mothers who stay at home claim to be martyrs and label working mothers as cruel and evil. If you have read then I have presented views from both sides. Working women putting down stay at home mothers is also judgmental because what works for one family needn’t work for another.

Being judgmental is not right for either. You say ‘Making money is not the only way to show your worth’, Yes! It’s not but would we be okay if men say the same and stay back? That was my next point.

The post I had written was mainly to say, that if a woman is a home-maker by choice it does not make her regressive, and hate I it when people assume or try to hint at that. Making money is not the only way to show your worth. I am saying this, because your post feels like saying the exact opposite of mine, hence wanted to clarify. I believe that eventually we are saying the same thing, freedom of choice without the fear of judgment, whatever the choice maybe.

Very small children, till around the age of two, require a lot of attention, energy and time, both the parents deserve some maternity (or paternity) leave to care for them.

And men also should have a choice in choosing to work or stay at home. I know amongst our friends perfectly happy couples where men have been able to start new ventures/NGOs/new careers etc because the wife is able to support them.
Two of these men I know very closely and they are doing and have done a great job of being ‘mothers’ (?) to their sons when the wife had an opportunity to go abroad leaving the baby in the husband’s care. The other one is helping the son with his board exams revisions, and has always been closer, more patient, gentler to the child.

My own dad was throughout the more ‘understanding’ and sensitive of my parents, he didn’t have as much time – but he was the one who always made sure we ate our fruit and finished our milk. And it did not make him a proverbial effeminate man(whatever that means!) because he was also great at horse-riding, athletics, shooting and other so called manly pursuits.

Have grown up with norm breakers. We tease my mom and tell her, her hobbies are electrical wiring and plumbing in the house